Newsflash! China considers Britain boring

To continue whining about the Chinese curriculum, I would like to address the pressing issue of what the enemy’s schools are teaching this generation of impressionable Chinese youth about my motherland, fair Britain. Marie has just showed me - in the spirit of cross-cultural exchange - Unit 6 Lesson 4 of her Peking University English tingli (listening) textbook, summarised in this helpful chart:

From the opinions of ‘Paul’ and ‘Cindy’, if those really are their names, I can only infer (by extension) that the 1.3+ billion population of China considers Britain really really dull - with the exception of yours truly, who as a member of ‘the young’ is both ‘alive’ and ‘on fire’: a dual state difficult to maintain, some might argue.

President Hu, I formally object to this two-dimensional characterisation of our nation. How would you like it if our educational board ran around releasing school textbooks listing Chinese interests as ‘in the past: opium. now: money; being oppressed’? Recall and pulp those textbooks, Mr Hu! Exhibit A:

Interviewer: And have you had much opportunity to eat English food?

Cindy: Yes, I avoid it, because it’s dull. I think it’s dull. And I think the English eat a lot of sweets and greasy food like chips.

Yes, our food may be dull, Cindy. Nethertheless, I got your point the first time. There’s no need to rub it in. Or just look at this libelous and oddly worded exchange:

Interviewer: Now what do you think about English people and their way of life?

Paul: The older generation of English people are really snobbish - the snob-nosed English. But the youth of England today - they’re really alive, you know, they’re more vibrant, on fire, alive. They are much more free than their parents, crazy!

I say good sir, who you calling snob nosed, man, crazy!